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waiting and hoping -- 2003-03-11 Well, I am not very impressed with having to update in the daytime instead of my usual eleven p.m. or so. Peak hours. Blah. I have had incredibly witty things to say at those times, and now of course I can't think of anything. Grr. Yesterday I went to the doc and got back on anti-anxiety pills. I gave it a good shot for not being on them, but right now I am so on edge and I know a little maintenance won't hurt at all. So I'm on 20 mgs of Celexa. It will probably take four weeks to kick in. We are also going to watch my weight very carefully since I am trying to lose weight not gain it. So we'll see. But when my doc completely agreed that I needed them I felt so validated. Like, of course it's not bad to be on anti-depressants. It is genetic. I am not needy for drugs. Damn internal messages and parental judgement. I don't care about you. I need to care about me for once. Worried about my sister a lot these days. She's not having a good go of it, that's for sure. And she'll be home in a month, which is another reason to get my anxiety under control. I'll need to be strong, god knows my parents can't take two of us being anxious. And then there's my brother. If he doesn't need some happy pills I don't know who does. He's a live wire, ready to fight at any given chance. :( Yup, that's my life the past few days.
Norway trip - 2004-07-08 |
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