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woe is me and all that bullshit -- 2003-03-05 Still waiting to hear about the St. John's Folk Arts Council job. It would be so perfect to get it! The competition closed Feb. 21st, and so I'm thinking I should call and remind them of me. But how? How does one aggressively promote themself for a job without appearing egotistical and arrogant? Especially since this job is SO important to me, I really want to be at the top of their list. Until then, there is a retail position open at the Newfoundland and Labrador Craft Council. I'll apply for that as well. I am applying for small things here and there, but it is so easy to get depressed over this! Part of me wonders why I came back to such a poor job market, but the other part of me knows I had no choice. And here is the paragraph you should not read if you are a sensitive person. Seriously. No doubt I am paranoid, but I have the feeling that my friends with good jobs, who are independent and autonomous, who seem to "have it all" are judging me. Maybe you're reading this and are judging me because I don't have a job, because I'm home with my parents again, because I'm not sacrificing what I love to do, to do a job that I hate. Maybe you think I'm a financial idiot, for not preparing more, for not taking care in the last contract I had, to make sure I didn't end up broke and unemployed with only 2 weeks of (shitty) pay in a city where I had no contacts. Maybe I am dumb. Maybe the whole thing was a stupid mistake, and now I'm paying for it. All of my things are still in storage in Ottawa for chrissakes. I don't even have all of my clothes nor do I have the money to go up and retrieve them. But if you're judging me, and forgive me, please, for this moment of doubt and weakness, but you can go to hell. Shit happens to everyone. And if it hasn't happened to you yet, just wait. It will happen when you least expect it. Like it did to me.
Norway trip - 2004-07-08 |
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