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friend pressure -- 2003-02-21 I spent a lifetime (or what seems like it) being bullied. By classmates. By my brother. By my ex. Now when someone pressures me into doing something, I snap. I feel horrible and crowded. I say yes and then I resent the favour, and the person who asked it. Anyway, Marnie asked me to sit for an hour at the door of the women's dance. But she didn't ask me nicely, and when I told her I was thinking of not even going she called me a jerk. I think she was teasing, but I wasn't entirely sure. And then I said yes, because I felt bad then, for letting her down, it's her dance, and she's organizing it, blah blah blah. But I still said yes, when it was something I did not want to do. I just wrote her an email and said... ****************** hi Marnie, I am actually going to pass on sitting at the door for an hour at the dance. I like to do things when I don't feel pressured to do them, and I felt pressure from you to say yes! When I feel pressured then I feel resentment, and I don't want that to happen. Also, my original idea was to see if I felt like going on Saturday, so I don't want to have firm plans. I hope you understand and I'm sure you'll be able to find someone else! Talk soon, Sarah **************** This is one of the first times I have stood up to a friend. I am so worried about losing friends I usually end up getting roped into things I don't want to do, just so I will be reassured that they "like me". Was the email too harsh? Am I worrying too much? The books I've read and the advice I've been given is to tell the truth, and keep your boundaries. I'm trying. But now I'm thinking she is going to be mad at me. ARGH.
Norway trip - 2004-07-08 |
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